Light filtered through stained glass... Candles flickering on polished brass... Organ music and the rustle of silk...

Many people dream of a "church wedding", but a romantic setting is the least of reasons for being married in the church. After all, beautiful ceremonies can be, and often are, conducted in homes, hotels, gardens, and wedding "chapels". What distinguishes the sanctuary of a church from other settings is that it is a sacred space, set aside by a Christian congregation for its common worship.

By being married in the Church, the bride and groom indicate their desire and intent that the life, faith, and worship of the Church will be an integral part of their marriage. Before the ceremony takes place they will have given evidence of this commitment by faithful attendance at worship and participation in the life of the parish. In turn, during the ceremony the congregation pledges to support the bride and groom in their new ministry of marriage. It is this shared ministry for which the priest asks God's blessing.

If you are willing to consider seriously the commitment inherent in contracting a Christian marriage, then you are ready to inquire about a wedding at St. Cross by the Sea. This webpage has been designed to assist you by answering frequently asked questions.

Who may be married at St. Cross

The Canons of the Episcopal Church require that at least one of the two persons being married be a baptized Christian. In addition, it is expected that at least one of the parties will be a member of St. Cross.

What if we are members of another congregation?

If one or both of you are members of an Episcopal parish outside our geographical area, but because of family considerations wish to be married at St. Cross, arrangements can be made with the support and written consent of the pastor of your home parish. The clergy of both parishes will cooperate with one another and yourselves in the preparations for your marriage.

Keep in mind that it is in your home congregation that your marriage will be nourished and supported.

What if neither of us presently attends any church?

If you do not have a church home, we at St. Cross invite you to worship with us and get to know us. Our worship times are:

At your first visit, introduce yourselves to the clergy and fill-out a Visitor/Newcomer sheet at the back of the church (The ushers will be happy to assist you.) Continue to worship with us regularly for at least a month. Join the congregation for coffee in the parish hall after either Sunday service, or on Wednesday evenings. This will allow you to explore whether St. Cross provides a Christian community in which you can feel comfortable both spiritually and socially.

What if one of us has been divorced?

The remarriage of divorced persons involves certain pastoral issues which must be addressed during premarital counseling. As a result of this process, if the clergy of St. Cross are comfortable with the resolution of these issues, permission for remarriage may be sought from the Bishop of the Episcopal Diocese of Los Angeles. The Bishop's permission must be obtained before a wedding can take place. The process requires that the documentation from St. Cross clergy and certified copies of the divorce papers must be on the Bishop's desk no less than one month before the planned wedding.

How do we make arrangements for our wedding?

If you are reading this page, you may have already completed the first step - which is to call the church office and express your interest in being married at St. Cross. The office phone number is (310) 376-8989. The parish secretary will ask you questions about yourselves, your church affiliation, and your wedding plans, and then send you a copy of this book. This first call to the church office must be made at least 6 months before you hope to be married.

Your next step is to attend together a regularly scheduled worship service at St. Cross, and to introduce yourselves to the clergy immediately following the service.

If only one of us needs to be a member, why must we both attend St. Cross?

The context in which a wedding ceremony takes place in the Episcopal Church is a service of worship. At St. Cross, that ceremony will be similar in style, and express theology and doctrine consistent with the other worship services of the church. It is best to make sure from the beginning that both of you can be comfortable at your own wedding.

What do we do next?

After you have attended church together and met the clergy, a member of the clergy will phone you to schedule an appointment for a first meeting. This first meeting with the clergy will last approximately one hour, and will primarily be a conversation about your backgrounds, your present life, your hopes for the future, and your marital intentions.

At the end of this meeting, if the priest sees no obvious impediment to your being married in the church, you may schedule a date for your wedding on the church calendar. No wedding date may be scheduled until this first meeting with the clergy has taken place.

How do we schedule our wedding date?

The parish secretary maintains the master calendar for the church. She will be able to tell you if the date you have in mind is open on the calendar, and if the clergy, organist, and wedding coordinator are available.

Keep in mind when you are selecting a wedding date that weddings are not normally conducted from Ash Wednesday through Easter Sunday, and from the first Sunday in Advent through Christmas Day. In addition, community activities in Hermosa Beach on New Year's Eve, Memorial Day week-end and Labor Day week-end, make access to the church extremely difficult.

In planning the time of day for your wedding, be aware that weddings may not conflict with the church's worship schedule, and may not be scheduled after 7:00 PM.

If the wedding date you have selected is available on the church calendar, a deposit of $100.00 will reserve that date. If for any reason the church or its ministers cancel your wedding, the deposit will be refunded to you. If you cancel your wedding it will not be refunded. However, the deposit may be transferred if you postpone or reschedule your wedding date.

When you have met with the clergy and paid your deposit, the church office will make arrangements for you to begin planning your wedding with the St. Cross staff, and to begin your pre-marital counseling.

What happens during counseling?

St. Cross uses a program for marital preparation called PreparelEnrich.* This program uses a computer-scored inventory which asks questions in 16 different areas of marriage and household life. After you have both completed the inventory, at least three counseling sessions will be devoted to exploring those areas which your responses have indicated are the most significant to your relationship.

In additional counseling sessions, the clergy will discuss with you the nature of Christian marriage and its ministry, and how these are expressed in the wedding ceremony. Ample time will be given to planning the ceremony for your wedding. Be sure to allow sufficient time for the completion of your pre-marital counseling sessions before your wedding invitations are printed.

During the time when you are preparing for your wedding, you will also be expected to attend worship services regularly. This is a period in which you will be strengthening your own relationship as well as building new relationships with the clergy who will officiate at your wedding and with the Christian community in which your marriage will take place.

*Please note: A fee of $30.00, payable directly to PreparelEnrich is charged for the computer scoring of this inventory.

Check-list for making wedding arrangements:

*Please bring a check for $30.00 made out to PreparelEnrich to your first counseling appointment.

Wedding Fees

The cost of a wedding at St. Cross depends on your status as a member. The following fee schedule is used:

What do these fees include?

Wedding fees include all of the direct costs which the church incurs in providing for your ceremony: the services of the wedding coordinator and her assistants; consultation with the music director; the organist who plays at your wedding; assisting lay ministers (acolyte, chalice bearer, lay reader); altar flowers; altar candles and candelabra; wedding bulletins and other printed material; cleaning the church; as well as your pre-marital counseling and consultations with the clergy.

What is a pledging member?

A pledging member of St. Cross attends church regularly and makes and maintains an annual financial pledge to the church.

At the time you reserve your wedding date and pay your deposit, the bookkeeper will determine your pledging status, and your wedding fees will be set accordingly.